Q: What does Bar and Bat and B’nai Mitzvah mean?

A: Bar Mitzvah means literally “Son of Commandment” and Bat Mitzvah means “Daughter of Commandment”. B’nai is the plural form of bar and bat. When a person becomes Bar or Bat Mitzvah, it means that he or she is recognized by the Jewish community as being morally responsible for his or her actions and decisions – responsible for keeping the commandments. This coming of age has been marked over time and place in various ways. In our day and in North America, communities tend to invite the Bar or bat Mitzvah student to take part in a Shabbat service and often families throw a party afterwards to celebrate.

Q: How old are boys and girls when they have a Bar/Bat Mitzvah?

A: At Or Shalom, the coming of age of both boys and girls is at age 13. In some communities girls mark the coming of age at twelve years of age.

Q: How many years does one have to study in order to become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah?

A: At Or Shalom, becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is just one step in the journey of our students’ Jewish education . Students attend Religious school, where they immerse themselves in Jewish culture, prayer, and heritage as well as Hebrew. The actual preparation for the ceremony is a year long process with a private tutor that coincides with the 7th grade Hebrew Class.

Q: Do you have to be a member of the congregation to have a Bar/Bat ceremony at Or Shalom?

A: Yes. Families interested in having a Bar/Bat Mitzvah service at Or Shalom must be members of the congregation.

Q: Are non-Jewish parents and relatives allowed to participate in the ceremony?

A: Yes. Or Shalom is an inclusive community and our services reflect this core value. There are many ways in which a non-Jewish parent and relative can have an active and meaningful part in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony.

Q: When do B’nai Mitzvah services take place?

A: As of now, our B’nai Mitzvah services take place on Saturday afternoons between 4 and 6pm. It may be possible to schedule morning services at alternative locations.

Q: Can you have a Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony if you are older than 13?

A: Yes. There is no limit on when a person can celebrate a commitment to Judaism by reading from Torah, teaching at a service and so on. Some students need more time or start late. Periodically we also celebrate “adult Bnai Mitzvah” – adults who want to learn and celebrate long after the age of 13.

Q: Who are the tutors?

A: Or Shalom has a number of B’nai Mitzvah tutors that are experienced and trained in teaching the prayers, Hebrew, chanting and guiding the student in writing his or her teaching. Some are teachers in our Religious School as well.